Archives for January 2016

Whare We’re At With Hiccup

January 18, 2016

I thought I would give you all little update on where we are at with our latest foster care journey in regards to Hiccup. The bitter sweet news is that the judge has ordered that parental rights be severed for both parents. The papers still have to be signed but this means that Hiccup is legally free to be adopted. We have contacted our awesome lawyer to get the paper work gathered so we can petition to adopt him. We still have to wait for the appeal time to pass before he can share our last name, but we are on the right path. Once that time has passed we will have an official adoption day.

The circumstances were far to risky for his safety for him to go back so we are thrilled that he is finely safe. We are thankful that we have an amazing judge who takes the time to review the entire history of the bio parents and sees through the chaotic storm of false accusations the defense attorneys created as well as the blatant lies that they told. Yes it is sad that a parent has to lose custody of a child because they have made so many bad choices, but it is also wonderful that the state was there to help a child whose life was in danger because of their parents actions.

Now we wait some more. The nice thing about this time is that life starts to feel normal again. There are no birth parent visits at this point which means we aren’t spending a bunch of time in the car and our kiddo’s emotions stabilize. In the mean time we continue to enjoy him and try to figure out what to name him. Any suggestions? Hubby and I are having a hard time finding a name we both like.

You Can Be A Foster Parent

January 11, 2016

******Since I first posted this I have come to the realisation that I have a very different understanding of what love is. So some clarification before you read what is bellow. Love is proactive. There are going to be a lot of hard things that you have todo and find solutions for. Love sticks it out while also setting healthy boundaries and knowing that there might come a time when you have to love them from afar because they need treatment and you have to keep the other people in your home including yourself safe. Love does NOT mean you tolerate abuse, EVER. Love does not mean that the person you are loving will choose todo what is right, EVER. Even if you do everything right, and do every needful and good thing, that person might not change. That doesn’t mean that you stop loving that person. It just means that that relationship might not look what others think love looks like. Please keep that in mind as you read what is bellow.******

Having been a foster parent for years, I’d like to say I think any good person could be a foster parent. Not a perfect person, but a good person. Any good person who knows how to love and are willing to seek guidance from professionals and the Lord can be a foster parent. That doesn’t mean its what they’re meant to do, but they are capable.

I’ve had a lot of people tell me why they couldn’t be a foster parent. These people say things like “I could never foster, I’d get to attached”, “I couldn’t handle all the stress”, “I’d be afraid of dealing with the birth family” or “My heart would break”. All of these things are valid concerns. Believe it or not most foster parents deal with these things and I know there are many who question wether or not they are up for all of the things that go along with foster parenting. I know I have doubted my capabilities.

What I want to tell people who desire to foster children (and what I tell myself) is to be brave. I want to tell you that your concerns, while valid, are coming from a place of fear. If you can just be brave enough to willing give your heart to a child, despite the fact that it will be broken, you can be a foster parent. If you can be brave enough to trust Heavenly Father’s plan for you and your children, even when you think you can see a better way, you can be a foster parent. Yes it will be hard, but you can do hard things. You can be a foster parent!

2016 Goals

January 9, 2016

Hello! Hows your new year going? Have you set your goals yet? Have you broken those goals into smaller steps? Hopefully you read that with the most overly enthusiastic voice you cold imagine and hopefully you are making goals this year. Some people think setting goals for the new year is ridiculous. I disagree. How can we hope to improve if we don’t set goals and plans to accomplish them? The new year is an extra good time to start. I’d love to know what your goals are. Did you set self improvement goals like health or mood adjustment? Did you set some bucket list goals like hiking that peak you see on your way to work each day? Being the imperfect being that I am, I have set five self improvement goals.

Every goal needs an action plan and some accountability. I thought I would tell you about my goals and then report back at the first of the month on how I’m doing. I’m also keeping Hubby updated so he can encourage and remind me. To help me achieve my goals I have broken them into monthly action plans. After all, a goal without a plan is just a dream. Bellow are this months.

January Goal Action plan

Be Cheerful: I’m starting of by being grateful for what and who I have in my life. This means taking time to thank the people who are around me and focus on the good in them (even when they’re throwing tantrums). To help me with this I will be writing in my Kiddos Journals each week about all the great things they are doing.

Get Healthy: I don’t mean be skinny, I mean be healthy. This is a life style turn around for me and I am taking it slow to allow the monthly changes to sink in. The plan hope with that is to avoid burn out. January is going to be about forming healthy sleeping habits for myself and drinking enough water. Gone are the days of going to bed after midnight. Hello lights out at 10pm. Lights out includes the phone. As for water consumption I have a health app I am trying out. Amongst other things it tracks water consumption. If I like the app I’ll let you know about it later.

Be Organized: This is a life style thing for me too. I have been way to relaxed when it comes to organization and part of the problem is poor time management and just forgetting things. To start this year off right I have purchased an agenda. Not just any agenda but the queen of all agendas, the mom agenda. I love this thing. It keeps me AND the family organized. The one I have is paper but I know that they have an ipad app too. Because mine is a hard copy paper version I’ve also gotten a few things like pens and, calendar stickers, and decorative tape to help color coordinate things. My decorative tape categories help signal what aspect of my life I’m attending to (ie. foster care, out of home, church, church calling, hubby related, and mom activity). Each of category gets there own tape. The focus of this month will be writing everything in it and checking it regularly through out the day.

Budget Better: I have made a budget and have created a place in my agenda to write down all expenditures. The real task is going to be taking the time to keep track of everything. Yes, there are apps for this, but I think it will help me be more aware of what I’m spending if I write it down. I’m using the pens I bought for my agenda to color code my budget. If you are looking for some budget tips Dave Ramsey has good ones.

Make more time for God: This one is most important and it is important for many reason. First of all He loves me and wants me to spend more time with him. Secondly if I am really going to accomplish anything that matters I am going to need his help. So I’m setting time aside to spend it with him. This month the focus is on scripture study and prayer.

So what are your goals? Do you have any tips to help me with mine?

Happy New Year!

Gum Tree