Round the Gum Tree

And Then There Were Three

I made an adorable print for this post but technology is failing me at the moment so I’ll have to add it later. Oh well, on to the good stuff!

One of the joys of parenting is getting to watch your kids reactions to things. Wether its the first day of school, tasting a lemon, finding an easter egg or the way your two year old looks at the three year old neighbor girl, its a wonderful part of parenting. Ok, maybe not the way Hiccup looks at the neighbor girl. He looks at her likes she’s Christmas morning and I’m a little jealous.

Something we are excited to see is the kids reaction to meeting our families latest addition. This sweet baby is coming to us not through foster care or adoption, but through birth. I know, we were pleasantly surprised too. I had mentioned on Instagram (forever ago) that I was going to the doctor to talk about fertility treatments and to get those started. After we got all the information and the options we prayed about it some more and thought we should wait. I was confused. Later when we needed to move and buy a house I felt like that must have been why we needed to wait, but it turned out Heavenly Father had an even greater surprise.

We are thrilled and more than a little excited to see this new person in the spring.

What does that mean for our life as foster parents? For the moment, we have been taking a break. I have been very sick. In fact I’ve been so sick that they gave me an IV and some medication so I could keep food down (apparently I was the palest person the nurse had ever seen). Its been a lot better since then. We don’t plan on this being a permanent break, just until baby makes their first appearance. I definitely hope there will be other foster placements and adoptions in our family. Only Heavenly Father knows how or when those blessings will come.

For now we get to enjoy this experience. We get to enjoy Mr.H singing to baby, Hiccup waving at my belly and walking with his puffed out We get the joy of hearing heart beats and seeing wiggly hands on the ultrasounds, and I get to put a room together knowing what gender and age we’ll be getting. Those things are all knew and exciting things.

Have a g’day,
Gum Tree

Life Update

Its been awhile and life has been crazy. We renewed our foster care license. That includes a home study so lots of cleaning. We’ve had eight family members over. Yay but also more cleaning. We’ve had some major family events that I’ll tell you more about later. Hubby got another double promotion that moved him to corporate so were moving. Yay, but packing. Not only are we moving but we are moving to a house! Not just a house but our house! As in we will be home owners! The thing I’ve been dreaming of since I was 9 will finely be a reality. Let the decor planning commence!

Have a g’day.
Gum Tree

Basic Things to Buy When Preparing for a Foster Placment

Basic things to buy when preparing for a foster placment post headerYay! You’re getting your foster license! Your home will soon be filled with children, children that are going to need things. The challenge is that if you’ve left your door wide open you have no idea what that child will be like. Will you need diapers? Will you need a baby carrier or a booster seat? A crib or a Bed? What about things for them to do? The list of what you might need or want to buy for the future kiddo can go on and on. Before you dive in and spend all your money I recommend you ask yourself these two questions.

  • Will I need it in the first week of having a placement?
  • Is it adjustable or convertible?

Thats what I ask myself. It has led me to this list of basic things to buy when preparing for a foster placement.

  • Adjustable car seat. We have this one from safety first. It can handle a kid from 5 lbs. (newborn) 100 lbs. (1st grader). Every now and then you might be able to get a carseat from your caseworker, but thats not a guarantee so its better to be prepared.
  • A bunkbed and/or convertible crib. For an inexpensive bunkbed I recommend going to IKEA. That’s where we got ours along with the mattresses. For a convertible Crib I recommend something like this one.
  • Gender neutral bedding. Think light blue, gray, or yellow. You can always get some feminine or masculine things later if your kiddos end up staying for awhile but gender neutral is where to start.
  • Size Three diapers and pull-ups. I recommend keeping a small pack of size three diapers on hand because they seem to cover the largest age range. Our kiddo started fitting them at four months and I have seen two year olds wearing them. Thats a big age range and a small pack won’t take up allot of space and will do the job while you figure out and get a preferred size. Pull-ups are for older kids at night. It is not uncommon for kids to have potty accidents when they experience trauma. Coming to a new home with people you don’t know is a trauma so count on getting a few accident. Pull-ups are also great while you figure out if your new kiddo is a bed wetter. This being said, I wouldn’t make a kid who is going to school wear them to school and if a child is school aged I wouldn’t have them wear them during the day while at home until they have had an accident.
  • Hygiene Kit. Think tooth brush, toothpaste, body wash, shampoo, wash cloth. Keep in mind your perspective age range. Your preteen probably doesn’t want to brush with a kids tooth brush and he’s going to need some deodorant.
  • One can Similac infant formula and a bottle. Some of you might wonder why Similac. I honestly don’t know if it is the best or healthiest formula out there. I’ve never looked. I say Similac though because it’s what WIC covers. As a foster child your child is eligible for WIC. Perhaps you prefer a different brand, but odds are that Similac is what a foster child will have had and what they will have if they go back. That means that their formula could be familiar to them and could be the only consistent thing for them, so get the Similac. Maybe you won’t need it before it expires, but do you really want to make a run to the store with a hungry infant that you just met in the middle of the night because that is when the call came in?
  • Dishes, specifically unbreakable dishes. This is good for all parents of young kids, but especially foster kids. Kids are clumsy and they often throw fits when up set. Having a dish shatter because your new kiddo is upset about the unfamiliar food and knocks it to the floor in a burst of emotion is not an issue you want to deal with. Unbreakable dishes is where its at.
  • Entertainment. Obviously age range will affect this. I’ve broken it down to three things that will cover all the age ranges for at least a little bit. For all ages I recommend a stuffed animal. I know some teenager won’t admit to wanting one, but I think all of the kids could use something to hold onto during the long nights in a new place. For age 0 to 2 I recommend this convertible play station. I personally love that it entertains and contains my 1 year old for a bit while I get some stuff done. For ages 2 and up I suggest coloring books. I recommend getting a few kid ones and an adult coloring book. Coloring is supposed to be calming. Who doesn’t want some calm? … In fact you might even want one for yourself as foster parenting is wonderful and stressful at the same time.
  • Some gender neutral outfits. It’s not unheard of for a child to come to you in nothing more than a diaper. I recommend keeping a storage tote with different sizes of clothing in it. Tickled Teal has some gender neutral and fairly inexpensive onesies for ages 0 to 24m. I’ve bought from them and have been happy with their products. I also like the leggings from Skuttlebum. I’ve found that if I buy a larger sized they will still work for smaller sizes so its a good one to cover that 0 to 24m age range. When you’ve collected your clothes I suggest you get a vacuum bag and shrink it down.

I realize this seems like a lot of things, but it should allow you to spend the first bit of time with your new, emotionally distressed kiddo(s) without needing to run out the door the moment the case worker leaves. Is there something you think I missed? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.

Have a g’day
Gum Tree

Staying Safe As Foster Parents

Staying safe as a foster parent post title graphic

If your foster care training was anything like mine it included a long discussion lecture on how you are supposed to welcome the birth parents (and family) into your life with open arms. You are taught by your trainers to be open with birth family and be their best friend. They give glowing examples of relationships that include barbecues, picnics, sharing your phone number, and supervising visits that may or may not be expected to take place at your home. They make it sound idyllic, achievable to all and that anything less is outrageous.

I think it is outrageous that they teach this as being normal and always achievable. Even more outrageous is the pressure some trainers or caseworkers place on foster parents to do these things. Some people treat you as if you’re bad if you can’t achieve this. I’m here to tell you that all of those people are wrong.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s wonderful when you can have a healthy relationship with birth family. I’ve had it happen so I know it is possible. I also know from experience that it can go completely the other way. The reality is you don’t know how crazy someone is going to get until they are losing everything. That’s what can happen when people lose their kids or aren’t getting what they want. The problem with what those trainers are teaching or what those caseworkers are pushing is that it leaves foster families and the kids they’re taking care of open to harm and or accusations.

I have experienced a case that involved some of the “craziest” people our case worker has ever seen and she has been doing this for over 20 years. This case involved false accusations, being accused of stealing children and a group of women who actively set out to make everyone hate me in the vain attempt to get the kids to go live with a relative who couldn’t pass a background check. Thankfully my case worker is awesome and saw through it all. This situation taught me a lot though. It gave me the opportunity to lay out safety rules for future cases. Some of these might seem extreme. They are my starting point, if all goes well some of them will be able to be removed over time. A key thing to remember is that you can always share more information about yourself later, but you can never go back.

1.Don’t give your personal information out to birth family.
This means your last name, phone number, address or email address. If you want the birth family to have a way to contact you that can be documented set up a separate email account for them. I would add that if your first name is uncommon that you use a middle name so its harder for them to find you. These are things that you can change in the future if people prove to be stable. In the mean time, do you really want to risk having to change your phone number, last name or move. All of those things have been done by foster parents for safety reasons.

2. Tell the caseworker that you are not sharing any of your personal or contact information with the birth family.
This includes any other state worker who has your information. Remind them that this includes your last name and make sure they know that if they send a group text that that would be sharing your information. This has happened to me so make sure they know you are counting on them to keep safety a top priority as they handle the case.

3. Don’t give your personal information to “professionals”.
I’m talking doctors, therapists, pharmacies, school teachers. They do their best to keep your information private, but sooner or later they will slip up. I’ve had it happen. Instead of communicating by phone communicate with them through that email you set up specifically for foster related things. If they insist on an address give them the address to DCFS. This is something my same caseworker told me to do. She also said not to sign my last name but to sign foster parent instead. There is one exception to sharing my phone number that I would make and that is for my kiddos teacher. This is because your kid is going to be there for hours upon hours. There is a good chance that they are going to need to call you sooner or later to let you know what is going on with your kiddo or that you need to come pick them up. For this I would give your phone number directly to your kiddos teacher. Ask them to keep the number in their phone and not write it down. That way they can shoot you a text if your sweetie lost his cookies all over the circle time rug.

4. Never be alone with birth family.
This is one that might bother your case worker. It’s necessary though. We had a relative that was allowed to have unsupervised visits with the kids. I only spoke to them for about 5 minuets at pick up and drop off. The relative went on to claim that I said all sorts of things I never said during those reoccurring 5 minuets. Yes, our awesome caseworker didn’t believe the relative, but the birth parent did, which caused problems.

5. Never supervise contact with birth family.
You never know what is going to happen during a visit or a phone call. If something goes wrong you are supposed to report it though. It is extremely possible that (and this has happened to me) the birth family (or their attorney) will claim that you are bias or that you are to unskilled to give a credible testimony. Do you really want to have the majority of testimony regarding the kids relationship with a person be yours?  Even if this doesn’t happen there is still room for a lot of drama to take place if the relative isn’t stable.

Those are my five rules to help keep my family safe while we foster kids. If things go well some of those rules can be lifted, but please remember, you can always share more information about yourself later, but you can never go back.

Have a g’day,
Gum Tree

Pst, no bohns about it is a having and adoption talk link up. I highly recommend checking it out.

Thank You For Befriending My Foster Child

Thank you for befriending my foster child blog header

 

Recently my son became great friends with a little boy who is in care. They’ve been great friends and talk about each other all the time. The little boy has returned to his birth mom now. While we hope that this will work out, it’s hard on Mr.H to suddenly not have his his best bud around. It’s sort of like he suddenly moved only there won’t be any letters or phone calls or a goodbye. His friend is just gone.

So I wanted to say thank you. Thank you to all of the people out there who support foster families by being friends their kids in care. Thank you for letting your kids get to know my kids. Thank you for not listening to the stereotypes. Thank you for not being afraid of my children. Thank you for letting your kids get to know kids that are coming from hard places. Thank you for inviting kids in care to birthdays, celebrations and play dates. Thank you for letting my kids see what un-traumatized kids their age are like. Thank you for helping my kids feel normal in some way. Thank you for befriending my child.

This post is part of a link up. You can see other posts related to foster care and adoption here.

Have a g’day
Gum Tree

Whare We’re At With Hiccup

Foster Life Update 1

 

I thought I would give you all little update on where we are at with our latest foster care journey in regards to Hiccup. The bitter sweet news is that the judge has ordered that parental rights be severed for both parents. The papers still have to be signed but this means that Hiccup is legally free to be adopted. We have contacted our awesome lawyer to get the paper work gathered so we can petition to adopt him. We still have to wait for the appeal time to pass before he can share our last name, but we are on the right path. Once that time has passed we will have an official adoption day.

The circumstances were far to risky for his safety for him to go back so we are thrilled that he is finely safe. We are thankful that we have an amazing judge who takes the time to review the entire history of the bio parents and sees through the chaotic storm of false accusations the defense attorneys created as well as the blatant lies that they told. Yes it is sad that a parent has to lose custody of a child because they have made so many bad choices, but it is also wonderful that the state was there to help a child whose life was in danger because of their parents actions.

Now we wait some more. The nice thing about this time is that life starts to feel normal again. There are no birth parent visits at this point which means we aren’t spending a bunch of time in the car and our kiddo’s emotions stabilize. In the mean time we continue to enjoy him and try to figure out what to name him. Any suggestions? Hubby and I are having a hard time finding a name we both like.

You Can Be A Foster Parent

You can be a foster parent blog image

******Since I first posted this I have come to the realisation that I have a very different understanding of what love is. So some clarification before you read what is bellow. Love is proactive. There are going to be a lot of hard things that you have todo and find solutions for. Love sticks it out while also setting healthy boundaries and knowing that there might come a time when you have to love them from afar because they need treatment and you have to keep the other people in your home including yourself safe. Love does NOT mean you tolerate abuse, EVER.  Love does not mean that the person you are loving will choose todo what is right, EVER. Even if you do everything right, and do every needful and good thing, that person might not change. That doesn’t mean that you stop loving that person. It just means that that relationship might not look what others think love looks like. Please keep that in mind as you read what is bellow.******

Having been a foster parent for years, I’d like to say I think any good person could be a foster parent. Not a perfect person, but a good person. Any good person who knows how to love and are willing to seek guidance from professionals and the Lord can be a foster parent. That doesn’t mean its what they’re meant to do, but they are capable.

I’ve had a lot of people tell me why they couldn’t be a foster parent. These people say things like “I could never foster, I’d get to attached”, “I couldn’t handle all the stress”, “I’d be afraid of dealing with the birth family” or “My heart would break”. All of these things are valid concerns. Believe it or not most foster parents deal with these things and I know there are many who question wether or not they are up for all of the things that go along with foster parenting. I know I have doubted my capabilities.

What I want to tell people who desire to foster children (and what I tell myself) is to be brave. I want to tell you that your concerns, while valid, are coming from a place of fear. If you can just be brave enough to willing give your heart to a child, despite the fact that it will be broken, you can be a foster parent. If you can be brave enough to trust Heavenly Father’s plan for you and your children, even when you think you can see a better way, you can be a foster parent. Yes it will be hard, but you can do hard things. You can be a foster parent!

2016 Goals

Hello! Hows your new year going? Have you set your goals yet? Have you broken those goals into smaller steps? Hopefully you read that with the most overly enthusiastic voice you cold imagine and hopefully you are making goals this year. Some people think setting goals for the new year is ridiculous. I disagree. How can we hope to improve if we don’t set goals and plans to accomplish them? The new year is an extra good time to start. I’d love to know what your goals are. Did you set self improvement goals like health or mood adjustment? Did you set some bucket list goals like hiking that peak you see on your way to work each day? Being the imperfect being that I am, I have set five self improvement goals.2016 Goals

Every goal needs an action plan and some accountability. I thought I would tell you about my goals and then report back at the first of the month on how I’m doing. I’m also keeping Hubby updated so he can encourage and remind me. To help me achieve my goals I have broken them into monthly action plans. After all, a goal without a plan is just a dream. Bellow are this months.

January Goal Action plan

Be Cheerful: I’m starting of by being grateful for what and who I have in my life. This means taking time to thank the people who are around me and focus on the good in them (even when they’re throwing tantrums). To help me with this I will be writing in my Kiddos Journals each week about all the great things they are doing.

Get Healthy: I don’t mean be skinny, I mean be healthy. This is a life style turn around for me and I am taking it slow to allow the monthly changes to sink in. The plan hope with that is to avoid burn out. January is going to be about forming healthy sleeping habits for myself and drinking enough water. Gone are the days of going to bed after midnight. Hello lights out at 10pm. Lights out includes the phone. As for water consumption I have a health app I am trying out. Amongst other things it tracks water consumption. If I like the app I’ll let you know about it later.

Be Organized: This is a life style thing for me too. I have been way to relaxed when it comes to organization and part of the problem is poor time management and just forgetting things. To start this year off right I have purchased an agenda. Not just any agenda but the queen of all agendas, the mom agenda. I love this thing. It keeps me AND the family organized. The one I have is paper but I know that  they have an ipad app too. Because mine is a hard copy paper version I’ve also gotten a few things like pens and, calendar stickers, and decorative tape to help color coordinate things. My decorative tape categories help signal what aspect of my life I’m attending to (ie. foster care, out of home, church, church calling, hubby related, and mom activity). Each of category gets there own tape. The focus of this month will be writing everything in it and checking it regularly through out the day.

Budget Better: I have made a budget and have created a place in my agenda to write down all expenditures. The real task is going to be taking the time to keep track of everything. Yes, there are apps for this, but I think it will help me be more aware of what I’m spending if I write it down. I’m using the pens I bought for my agenda to color code my budget. If you are looking for some budget tips Dave Ramsey has good ones.

Make more time for God: This one is most important and it is important for many reason. First of all He loves me and wants me to spend more time with him. Secondly if I am really going to accomplish anything that matters I am going to need his help. So I’m setting time aside to spend it with him. This month the focus is on scripture study and prayer.

So what are your goals? Do you have any tips to help me with mine?

Happy New Year!

 

Gum Tree

 

4 Conversation Tips For Talking About Adoption

4 conversations tips for talking adoption

I’ve been told by my caseworker that I’m very precise with my words. Words are important. Phrase things without precision and you risk misunderstandings. Use the wrong word and you can cause hurt. Leaving out important words can also hurt.

Recently the leaving out of words has been concerning me. Hiccup, our foster baby (who we will most likely adopt) is Mr.H’s biological brother. When people find this out they always make a comment about how nice it will be for Mr.H to grow up with his brother. I cringe each time they say this because each time they leave off an important word. They leave off the word “biological”. They didn’t just mean his brother they meant a genetic brother, a birth brother, a biological brother.

It’s true that it will be nice for him to have a genetic connection in his forever family. I don’t disagree with that idea. It will also be nice that there is one less biological sibling for him to find when he is ready. I do disagree with leaving off the word genetic/birth/biological when referring to him being raised with his brother. That is because one day we will probably have another son that will not share Mr.H’s genetics at all. That boy will be his brother and it will be nice for Mr.H to be raised with that child, his brother. Can you imagine their confusion, frustration and possible hurt should they hear a person say “its nice that they’re brothers” but not be including the one that doesn’t share genetics, as though he was somehow less their brother because their DNA doesn’t match up?

There are so many tips about what a person should say and how they should say it when talking to a family that grew or is growing through adoption. I am sure you can find a lot if you do a pin search for “adoption language”. Here are some over arching tips to consider.

  1. Be precise, technical even:
    When discussing genetics, birth family or birth family relationships use words like genetic, birth or biological. The word “other” can also be good, especially when there is a very open adoption. ie, his other mom, his other dad.
  2. Avoid the word “real”:
    I mean avoid it like the plague. Just skip it. This word rarely creates positive feelings in the adoption world unless someone is saying “You are a real mom. Your mother son relationship is 100% real” and that is only necessary when you are consoling someone who was told otherwise by some ignorant person. Please also know that there are real moms out there that bravely gave what was most dear to them so their child could have the life they needed even though that meant that life wouldn’t be spent with them. They’re real moms too. So yah, its better just to avoid the word “real”.
  3. Don’t ask why the kids are free for adoption or in care:
    This includes asking about where the birth parents are, or if he is a “drug baby”. First of all its none of your business. Unless you’re a family member (or worlds best supportive bestie) who is trying to understand their new permeant niece or nephew don’t ask. If you do fit into that category following tip #4 is good for you too.
  4. Don’t get into a deep discussion about adoption in front of our kids:
    I don’t mean a conversation about what agency did you use or when did junior join your family. I mean anything birth family related. I had a well meaning relative who started telling my son that he has two moms like so-and-so. The relative also made some comments about my son’s story and about my son’s birth mom that were not appropriate for her to say. Those comments were nice, but they also weren’t true. My son’s story is NOT anyone else’s story. He knows he is adopted. He knows the general meaning of being adopted. As he gets older we tell him more. The people who are going to tell him are me and my husband because we are his parents. We know him and his story better than anyone else on this earth. No one should try to tell him his story even if they don’t agree with how we are addressing his adoption because its not their place.

These are my four tips. Do you have any? I would love to hear them if you do. If you would like to hear more about adoption language you can follow a linkup found at the bottom of this post.

Don’t feel bad if you’ve done one of these things. It can be hard to know all of the sensitive words and things when you haven’t lived it. Just remember for the future and lovingly educate when appropriate.

 

Have a g’day,
Gum Tree

6 Tips For Changing Your Childs Name

6 tips for changing your child's name

Its happened! You have an adoption day set! You’re finally going to get to adopt your sweet child that you have been taking care of for the last few months/years. You call your lawyer to start filling out the last of the paperwork and they ask what will your child’s name be?

Naming a child is a big decision made even more complicated when adopting, especially when you’re adopting through foster care. Regardless of the situation it is best to proceed with caution as it could be a sensitive subject for the kids and if you are telling the birth family you can bet it will be a sensitive subject for some of them. Remember, there are good reasons to change a child’s name as well as good reasons not to change a child’s name. The choice is ultimately yours because you are going to be the parents now. If you decide to change your child’s name here are some tips about how to proceed and how to help your kiddo used to their new name.

Consider the pros and cons.

There are good and bad things about changing a kids name.
Let me rattle some of for you. Good reasons to change your kiddos name: fresh start for kids, helps keep them safe if bio parents are crazy/dangerous, the bio parents/family need a clear message that they are not the parents making decisions for this child any more (sometimes its necessary), the name will fit with the rest of the family, gives the kids a person to look up to, their bio parents named them Sparkle and not only do you cringe when you call it out at the playground but you also want them to get a job other then stripper or magician’s assistant when they’re older. Seriously though, I’ve seen the name Sparkle used.
Moving onto reasons NOT to change your child’s name: they’ve had that name for 7, 10, 15 years and don’t want to change it, it is after a relative that they love, they feel like they will be losing part of themselves if they change it. Not all kids feel this way about their names, but some do.

Talk to your kids about it.

Get their opinion about it. If your kids are old enough ask them if there are names they would like you to consider and ask them what they think about the names you have been thinking of. I know a lady whose daughter wanted to be named Ariel. As I recall she was about seven, into the little mermaid and in the end it might have been used as a middle name. We asked Mr.H what names he liked and told him a little about the ones we were thinking of. He picked the one that ended up being the right one. If your child wants to keep one or two of his names there are things you can do. I have heard of people switching the last name to the middle name, the middle to the first or the first to the middle and then throwing in a new name and last name. You could even use their first and last name as their middle name with a hyphen in the middle. The important thing is that if your kid has an opinion on it that you let that weigh in on your your decision.

Start thinking about it early.

If you know there is no kinship(or you are the kinship), it is getting close to the court date where they will be terminating parental rights and you know you are the states first plan for your kiddos start considering what names are going to be best for your kiddos. Don’t tell them yet but gather your thoughts. After parental rights have been severed start talking to your kids about it if they are at an age to have an opinion on the matter. Yes, when you turn in the petition to adopt you have to put what your child’s new name will be, but you can amend that later with little effort, or so my lawyer told me.

Prepare your kids early.

When you know their name will be changing tell them (after they are legally free for adoption). Let them get used the idea and have as much time as possible for the idea of the new name to set in. Then their is getting them to respond to their new name. Our caseworker told us a trick and it had Mr.H responding to his new name in no time. The trick is this: once you know what your kiddos new first name will be add it to their old first name. So if your kiddos name is currently Richard and its going to be Ben you call him Richard Ben. This way they connect the new name as part of their name. Once the adoption is complete you start calling them by their new name, in this example Ben. She also said not to use the kiddo’s new name in any negative way before it was final and to make an extra effort to use it as frequently and as part of praise. IE. “Way to go Richard Ben.”

Be ok if you have to wait.

I know this can be hard. If your birth parent(s) appeal it could take over a year (ours did). However even if the kids are legally free please be prudent by waiting to start calling your child solely by their new name until that adoption is final. I met a gal who was raised in foster care. She came into care at less then two years old and then became legally free. For whatever reason she was then moved from home to home. Each home gave her a new name. It seemed they all thought she was going to stay with them so they renamed her right away. By the time she aged out of the system she had had around ten different names. So please wait. I know its hard. I know you are dying to start calling your little one the name you have put so much time and effort into choosing, but just in case there is a last minute, out of nowhere, change in plans, wait.

Pray about it.

Pray about it throughout the process, the beginning middle and end. It will help you know what your kiddos need and how to talk to them about it. My husband was not a fan of our son’s name until we prayed about it. You see my husband doesn’t like the idea of naming your child after people. He prefers names that no one(or very few) people have ever had. Sometimes that’s good, but that wasn’t what our son needed. We didn’t know it at the time but Mr.H strives to be like the people he was named after. We picked some amazing people to name him after and it is serving him well. I am even more thankful that we changed his name now because he had shared a name with a bio relative, who we wish well, but do NOT want Mr.H to emulate.

Hopefully these tips have helped you as you make one of the many decisions that will affect your child for the rest of their life. If you want some more thoughts on naming your kiddo there is a link up over at Joyful Journey, No Bohns About It, Our Journey to You, Ripped Jeans & Bifocals, Starfish Confidential and White Sugar, Brown Sugar. You can also link up if you have a post about names.

Have a g,day!

GumTree